Things That I Am: An Introduction

At this point, I would like to think that I'm either talking to myself or strangers, and potentially God, if he so chooses. I don't foresee any of my friends from school reading this. Rather, I don't foresee anyone I have come face-to-face with reading my little blog, and I'm alright with that.

Physically, I am a human being, Caucasian, female, 18 years old, brown eyes, brunette, five feet and five inches tall, 159.7 pounds, 38 inch bust, 30 inch waist, 40 inch hip. I am scarred. Scars from my life cover my body. I'm pretty, too. When I can find the time, I like to exercise, and that's something that I want to get back into again.

Socially, I am... Well, I'm just me. I can be socially awkward, and I often kill conversations, but that's alright. I'm still loved. I'm not a cynic, although from the tone of this initial post, you (whoever you are) probably wouldn't guess that. Normally, with the appropriate amounts of sleep, I'm a pretty upbeat person when I'm with other people, if not a little shy.

Spiritually, I'd like to say that God and I know each other, but we've been estranged for a little while. We're like to people on the street that pass each other with a little nod. Or rather, I pass God on the street, he stops and opens his arms in a hug, and I keep walking. I'm not an atheist, though. I don't refuse to see Him. I'm just mad at him for now. He's ready to move up and on with our relationship, but I'm still trying to get there. 

Romantically, I am single. I'm okay with that. I don't like it, but it's one of those  things where I'm too emotionally exhausted romantically to care at this point. I loved a boy with the full intensity that I could for my eighteen years, and he left me after seven months. We haven't spoken since. But I'm still a romantic. I still daydream about Prince Charming with his kind heart, love for children, music, ballroom dancing, ambition, and physical fitness.

Vocationally, I'm a housekeeper for a resort. I don't love my job, but the people there make it pretty cool, and the pay isn't bad. 

Avocationally, I'm a ballroom dancer first. Ballroom dancing is my passion, and I have an awesome teacher. I've been going to classes since February of last year. I also like to sew. I've been sewing since I was a Freshman in high school. Before I started dancing, I wanted to go to college to become a fashion designer. But now I want to go to UVU to become a ballroom dance teacher. 

Emotionally, I'm struggling. I'm trying my very hardest to beat depression. I'm also trying to overcome my compulsion to cut myself. I am a cutter. But I'm in therapy now, and the days seem to get better sometimes.

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I'm afraid to tell you that this blog won't have a constant mood to it. I am putting myself out there in the rawest possible way I can, and how I feel changes from day to day, often from hour to hour. But then, hopefully most people could relate to that.

Additionally, this isn't a straight-up journal. It's more of a compilation of a lot of things that I like, with some reviews for things like movies, sewing patterns, and workout DVDs. Maybe a few tutorials, I don't know. It's a work in progress. What I'm trying to say is that there's a mutual benefit to this little blog. You get some reviews and tips and things, and I get to vent when it's needed. We can be friends here, we can have some equity. There's a balance. Just stick around, okay?

-Kati